Little did I know, though I probably should have
guessed
By the way you walked and talked and spoke and
smoked an dressed
You actually seemed to like me and so naturally I
presumed
You were after that thing, it’s the one thing,
it’s assumed

So I wined and dined you, hey, I love that kind of
stuff
And we blabbed about our backgrounds, how family
life is rough
We spoke of what we dreamed of, what we thought
of, what we did
Midway through the second bottle I admitted I had
kids

But nothing seemed to throw you though I know you
better now
At the time my minor crime was figuring out how
To get you in my hotel room unclothed and in my
bed
And proceed with the unspeakable, it’s better left
unsaid

We went to see a friend of your and watch me on TV

Sheer coincidence you said, synchronicity
A full moon on a Friday night, the thirteenth of
July
A man and two women in a room and on the screen
the guy

Your friend, she liked me on the show, yeah she
was snowed for sure
Her body language got obscene, her demeanor less
than pure
You started venting something wearing spleen upon
your sleeve
You got sort of nervous, kind of anxious, had to
leave

You told me on the freeway that you didn’t sleep
with men
I put two and two together…and I asked about your
friend
It turns out she and though she loved my show
She too preferred the fairer sex—I absorbed the
blow

It turns out that you did like men but didn’t like
their things
That hang down and all the hang-ups being with
them always brings
My brother is so practical; this is what he said:
“You should have asked if it was cool to watch
them both in bed”