I's thumbin' through the want ads in the Shelby
County Tribune when this classified advertisement
caught my eye. It said, \"Take imme-di-ate
delivery on this '57 Chevrolet half-ton pickup
truck. Will sell or swap for a hide-a-bed and
thirty-five bucks. Call One-four-oh, ring two, and
ask for Bob.\"
Well, I called Bob up on the telephone, he says,
\"Hello, this is Bob speakin'.\" I says \"This
here the Bob got the pickup truck for sale?\" He
says, \"Yeah.\" I says, \"Where are ya?\" He says,
\"Fourteen east on County 12, turn right on the
one-lane gravel road, you can park in the yard,
beware of the dog, wipe your feet off, knock three
times, and bring your billfold.\"
Well, I tooled on east on County 12, turned right
on the one-lane gravel road, and I parked in the
yard and a German shepherd come out and grabbed
onto my leg. Then I knocked three times and wiped
my feet, the dog let go and the screen door opened
and Bob come out and says \"Whaddya want?\" I
says, \"Come to see your truck.\" He says,
\"Follow me. Come on, Frank.\" (Dog's name is
Frank.)
Well, we all went past the chicken house, through
the hog pen, down to the tractor shed, and then
wound up in back of the barn in a field of
cowpies. And settin' right there in a pool of
grease was a half-ton Chevy pickup truck with a
1960 license plate, a bumper sticker says \"Vote
for Dick\" and Brillo box full of rusty parts, and
Bob says \"Whaddya think?\".
Well, I kicked the tires and I got in the seat and
set on a petrified apple core and found a bunch of
field mice livin' in the glove compartment. He
says, \"Her shaft is bent and her rear end leaks,
you can fix her quick with an oily rag. Use a nail
as a starter; I lost the key. Don't pay no mind to
that whirrin' sound. She use a little oil, but
outside a' that, she's cherry.\"
I says, \"What'll take?\" He says, \"What've you
got?\" I says, \"Twenty-eight dollars and fifteen
cents.\" He says, \"You got a deal. Sign here,
I'll go get the title and a can full of gas.\" I
put the nail in the slot and fired 'er up; she
coughed and belched up a bunch a' smoke and I
backed her right through the hog pen into the
yard.
Well, Frank jumped in and bit my leg and I beat
him off with a crowbar. He jumped on out and the
door fell off and the left front tire went flat. I
jacked it up and patched the tube and Frank tore a
piece of my shirt off. Then Bob come out and
called him off and says \"You better'd get on out
of here.\"
I went left on the one-lane gravel road, went
fourteen west on County 12. Took two full quarts
of forty-weight oil just to get her to the Conoco
station. And I pulled up to the Regular pump and
then Harold Sykes and his kid come out. He says,
\"I've seen better stuff at junkyards and where'd
you ever get that truck?\"
I says, \"That's a long story, Harold. I's
thumbin' through the want ads in the Shelby County
Tribune when this classified advertisement caught
my eye. It said, \"Take imme-di-ate delivery on
this '57 Chevrolet half-ton pickup truck. Will
sell or swap for a hide-a-bed and thirty-five
bucks...\"